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The Day God Spoke to Me

Updated: Jan 18

On Wednesday, January 3, 2024, God spoke to me. As I was going to adoration at the church, walking to the front row pews, all that was on my mind was, “I need answers, Jesus.” Answers to questions regarding my financial situation and my family. 

Medical bills were piling up from my son's therapies, a unique baby formula he needed to eat, and the looming surgery he would eventually need in 2024. A full-time job alone wasn't cutting it, and I had a couple of options on the table to start a side job.

I sat in that pew and immediately started crying. A weight had been lifted off my shoulders. It felt like I was home and could think clearly without the weight of the world bearing down on me. Ten minutes went by, and I finally stopped weeping only to open my year-long devotional and start bawling again. 

The first sign

You see, this book was a devotional for fathers. It provided a gospel for each devotional, a reflection, and an ending prayer. There was 1 reflection a week totalling 52 reflections for the year. 

I started this book partly to see where it would lead me and partly because I needed help with navigating the challenges of having a son with Down Syndrome. I started it on December 31, 2023, and planned to read the exact same reflection every day for each new week so I could gain a more profound meaning from that particular reflection. 

So, there I am, reading the week 1 reflection when I read,

“ may feel pressure to know what you’re doing as a dad. You don’t have to cave to that pressure. You don’t always have to be strong enough. Because God already is.” (Men’s Devotional for Dads)

These few sentences broke me. I had found my answer. I wasn’t trusting God. I was forcing myself into the endeavor I was favoring by my own means without God’s approval. I wept for some time, reflected on the situation at hand, and decided to pick up another book that was given to me by my church on Christmas day. 

The second sign

As I’m reading the introduction chapter to Beautiful Eucharist, a section of the book slaps me across the face. It told the story of the book of John, chapter 6, when Jesus told his disciples:

“I am the bread of life… Unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink his blood, you have no life in you.” (John 6:48, 53) 

Then, as almost all his disciples were walking away, he turned to his apostles and reiterated by asking, “Do you also wish to leave me?”. He didn't say, “I said something wrong,” or “I take it back.”. He doubles down and makes his point crystal clear. 

For a second time in only 20 minutes, I felt as if Jesus was directly asking me “Where is your faith in me?". He had my full attention. I was now sure I was about to make a mistake, and it wouldn’t end well for me or anyone involved if I continued toward the decision I was considering.

The third sign

20 minutes turned into an hour. An hour that lasted what seemed like just a moment. As I was about to leave, someone caught the corner of my eye. I turn to my right to see a lady walking on her knees to the front of the guardrail where the altar was stood. She stopped right as she approached the guardrail, bent down, and kissed the first step to the altar. 

What faith was this that I witnessed? I had seemingly stormed into the church looking for answers, and this lady must have inched – on her knees – upwards of 80 feet to the guardrail.

A thought popped into my head: this is true faith. God had just shown me what genuine faith looked like. For her to love God so much that she would be willing to inch that whole way, on her knees, to the guardrail astounded me.

God’s mercy

So, not only did he double down on challenging me to have faith in Him, but he also showed me what genuine faith looked like. How great is our God? He didn’t just tell me what to do; he actually guided me. 

I stayed another moment to ponder this. I was so thankful. I had come to the church with questions, fear, doubt, and anger, and I left with hope, encouragement, a good kick in the rear, and a crystal clear vision of what I needed to do next. 

God gave me strength when I had none, and all I did was seek Him out. He helped me realize just how much I was trying to do on my own, doubled down on His Will for me, and showed me what great faith looked like.

When I left the church, I immediately called to turn down the offer from the endeavor I was favoring. The following day, I started making shirt designs for Down Syndrome awareness. 


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